How to fix Anytime's carsharing newsletter

I received an email from the local carsharing:

anytime carsharing newsletter

As I understand, this is the newsletter for the current customers. The idea was to let people know how to benefit from taking a car for a longer time. Unfortunately, besides the complicated layout, the message misses the customer. Only after going to the web I found out that 399 Kč is a good deal, compared to the regular tariff – 1200 Kč for 4 hours. I think I know how to do it better.

What’s wrong?

There are poor scenarious, weak examples, misleading message and complicated information presentation.

Message:

If we remove images, layout and styling:

We have another tariff for you - for 4 hours this time.

What can you manage in 4 hours?
Go to the movies and have a dinner, the car will wait for you. Or bigger shopping or meetings across the city

New tariff 4h Standard for 399 CZK

Includes 40km, 6.99/km afterwards. 

You can select this tariff by default in the car rental screen in our application Anytime Carsharing CZ. Well let's go!

In short: “Four hours, 399 CZK. Go to movies, do shopping, have a meeting. Buy, 399 CZK, Please, buy.” The newsletter is not talking about my benefits as a customer: why the price is better, how can I win from taking the car longer or why will it be more convenient. Instead, business speaking about their needs.

Use cases:

I am sceptical about provided reasons for taking a car for a longer period. Car sharing is cheaper than a taxi, yet still expensive compared to public transit. Go to a cinema or a restaurant for two can be done by public transport. However, if you have a big family or kids — car sharing is a convenient and affordable choice.

Images:

Images are about price and hours. Illustrations are nice, but there is no sense that I am going for a ride, no drive or excitement. To be fair Anytime has an amazing video ad. As well, everything that was mentioned in cases should be presented by images.

How to make it better?

Let’s start with cleaning and defining the message. Instead of the question, I used a statement of why 4 hours ride will be useful for the client:

anytime carsharing newsletter

Czechs love to get financial benefits. I supported the headline with numbers. I changed word tariff to a more suitable and simple term “rent”.

Next, use cases for having a car for 4 hours. In Prague to cross the city from one end to another takes roughly 1.5 hours. The city is small. There should be some waiting time in between rides. And the client does not want to lose the car. However, the gap should not be huge, because the clients do not want to waste money. I came up with those scenarios:

  • Pick up friends or family from the airport.
  • Go shopping or pick up goods outside the city.
  • Go to a park, nature or hospital.
  • Having a big family and go to movies or restaurant.

There is some waiting time and it will not be convenient to lose the car in those situations. When illustrating those cases ideally, the car should be a part of the action. Checking images in the web:

anytime carsharing newsletter

Images, of course, should be taken with a real Anytime car and preferably within Prague’s setting. And fixing the layout of the newsletter:

anytime carsharing newsletter

I address information differently, changed the perspective and presented how 4 hours of carsharing can be beneficial. As a small touch, the company can add a list of interesting locations near Prague where clients can go.

For comparison:

anytime carsharing newsletter

P.S. I am not working or associated with Anytime in any way.

P.P.S. This post appeared because I have a principal: “Instead of criticising — fix it.”